Perhaps, I view the world through rose-tinted glasses.
Perhaps, I am not as politically as aware as I should be
Perhaps, I want to believe that the world I live in is faultless ergo not in need of any help
Perhaps, all I want right now is to be there.
Of all the times that I’ve been called names – this time it has hurt the most because you matter the most.
It matters not,
who you love,
where you love,
why you love,
when you love,
or even how you love,
it matters only that you love.
“Nothing is so common as the desire to be remarkable” – W. Shakespeare
We (i.e. me) are constantly in pursuit of the next best thing. It is never good enough. In my room, there is a box. The last box containing my belongings – certificates, letters, writing materials and books. For the most part, I tell myself I am too busy to unpack, work has taken a toll for the insane. When I say I am married to my job, everyone nods in unparalleled agreement. No one laughs because if they are in my life, they have at some point been passed up for a work commitment.
When the manic comes to a halt, I wonder what it is all for. Lately, I have allowed myself more. To not be caught up in the madness. To enjoy the stillness.
For the New Year, I want there to be contentment in my life. Who needs to be remarkable when your heart is smiling with bliss?
“Cheer up, buttercup”, he says.
Always owned a penchant for nicknames, I am my mother’s treasure, my accountant’s kiddo, Coach’s freckles, Stanford’s cupcake, SA’s munchkin and now, WD’s buttercup. Work has throw a punch that I cannot seem to recover from. HK was a whim that had to be ticked off, how often can one say that they made plans the night before to travel the day after.
Hindsight is a powerful tool yet it wouldn’t be fair to play shoulda, woulda, coulda. I wish I could fast forward to the end. At least then, I would know what I’m dancing for. For a crowd, an audience, him or alone.
At least then, I will know.
The fun part about travelling has to be the details that go into the planning or perhaps, I am just a masochist. I mean, I’m the girl that has an excel sheet for what goes into my luggage which to my defence is for insurance purposes should things go sideways.
Japan is notoriously expensive in terms of food, accommodation so, I scoured hotels.com which has the best interface for booking imo. Found a couple that fit the bill – clean, near a subway station, somewhat central, airport shuttle available etc.
Managed to get P to buckle down and actually look at the choices this weekend. Since, P booked the tickets so I offered to take the responsibility of booking our accommodation. Our travel budget wouldn’t allow us to be temporary residents of um, the Tokyo version of the Waldorf Astoria but, I did not want smoke filled and 80s gaudy floral imbued decor either. A girl has to have some reprieve. It is a vacation.
So, after a tough search we are booked at Mitsui Garden Hotel – Yotsuya which according to the map and my paltry cartography skills shows that we will be on the edge of Shinju-ku. 3mins from Yotsuya JR.
Technology plug – I love my iPhone! In a matter of minutes, I downloaded two apps: Tokyo Underground – which shows the entire route map, allows you to select your destination and gives you the best route and estimated time. All without a 3G or WiFi connection. Awesome! If you did have your location on, they could tell you what’s the closest station next to you.
Tokyo Cool on the other hand is a good supplement to an actual guidebook, gives you titbits of information but reminds me of the LUXE guide and sort of fancy pants, not really in touch with the moderate budget conscious traveller.
Can you tell I’m excited?
(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands
- e.e cummings
Questioning is losing its effect. I want to know yet, knowledge is not going to bring the relief I need. The next best action feels so far away, it almost seems out of reach. This is getting really old.
His nose crinkles in anticipation as the silkiness of my fingers reaches over to grasp his cherubic porcelain cheeks. Tugging at each other lips like school mates playing catch in the middle of the school yard before collapsing into a quivering heap of giggles brings an odd but familiar comfort.
As a feisty head strong person, it takes something close to a miracle for me to understand a view of another. Everything that you stand for, everything that endears me to you, everything that made this magic possible between us made me want to spend every last minute with you even though, I understand that it would conflict with everything that made you, who you are.
I want to get to know you and not destroy you. For that reason alone, I cannot be selfish. I have to respect your decision, your choice regardless of how fragile it may seem. Life has to run it’s course and we deserve to see what we see.
Caught Zaia, the Cirque du Soleil show for The Venetian Macao. Absolutely loved the dream like theme in comparison to KA which was fiery, exciting, just more of everything. While my jaw was at my feet, I recall thinking who conjures up productions of this nature. Must be one hell of a creative. Astronauts floating across the street, fire twirling acrobats who have no bones in their body and can probably fit themselves into a soft drink can.
A-freaking-mazing. Other than that little nugget, Macau is sad. We were leaning on the third level railings of MGM Grand Casino when we are barked at by security. Turns out, people tend to hurl themself off buildings, railings after losing their life’s possessions to gambling. According to the marketing lady we spoke to at The Venetian, there’s a suicide a day. Not uncommon. I couldn’t imagine working here, I reckon I’d go batshit crazy. Imagine living on Sentosa. Well, it’s a ferry away from Hong Kong where tons of shopping, night life etc. This is what Singapore wants for her island – a casino.
I constantly battle with not looking at the past. The left brain screams “c’mon girl!” The last three months has been nothing short of amazing. If this signals the 30s, I say bring it on!
I will no longer look back because, the future is dazzling and I don’t want to miss a thing!
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