Perhaps, I am not as politically as aware as I should be

Perhaps, I want to believe that the world I live in is faultless ergo not in need of any help

Perhaps, all I want right now is to be there.

Of all the times that I’ve been called names – this time it has hurt the most because you matter the most.

“Nothing is so common as the desire to be remarkable” – W. Shakespeare

We (i.e. me) are constantly in pursuit of the next best thing. It is never good enough. In my room, there is a box. The last box containing my belongings – certificates, letters, writing materials and books. For the most part, I tell myself I am too busy to unpack, work has taken a toll for the insane. When I say I am married to my job, everyone nods in unparalleled agreement. No one laughs because if they are in my life, they have at some point been passed up for a work commitment.

When the manic comes to a halt, I wonder what it is all for. Lately, I have allowed myself more. To not be caught up in the madness. To enjoy the stillness.

For the New Year, I want there to be contentment in my life. Who needs to be remarkable when your heart is smiling with bliss?

Always owned a penchant for nicknames, I am my mother’s treasure, my accountant’s kiddo, Coach’s freckles, Stanford’s cupcake, SA’s munchkin and now, WD’s buttercup.  Work has throw a punch that I cannot seem to recover from. HK was a whim that had to be ticked off, how often can one say that they made plans the night before to travel the day after.

Hindsight is a powerful tool yet it wouldn’t be fair to play shoulda, woulda, coulda. I wish I could fast forward to the end. At least then, I would know what I’m dancing for. For a crowd, an audience, him or alone.

At least then, I will know.

Japan is notoriously expensive in terms of food, accommodation so, I scoured hotels.com which has the best interface for booking imo. Found a couple that fit the bill – clean, near a subway station, somewhat central, airport shuttle available etc.

Managed to get P to buckle down and actually look at the choices this weekend. Since, P booked the tickets so I offered to take the responsibility of booking our accommodation. Our travel budget wouldn’t allow us to be temporary residents of um, the Tokyo version of the Waldorf Astoria but, I did not want smoke filled and 80s gaudy floral imbued decor either. A girl has to have some reprieve. It is a vacation.

So, after a tough search we are booked at Mitsui Garden Hotel – Yotsuya which according to the map and my paltry cartography skills shows that we will be on the edge of Shinju-ku. 3mins from Yotsuya JR.

Technology plug – I love my iPhone! In a matter of minutes, I downloaded two apps: Tokyo Underground – which shows the entire route map, allows you to select your destination and gives you the best route and estimated time. All without a 3G or WiFi connection. Awesome! If you did have your location on, they could tell you what’s the closest station next to you.

Tokyo Cool on the other hand is a good supplement to an actual guidebook, gives you titbits of information but reminds me of the LUXE guide and sort of fancy pants, not really in touch with the moderate budget conscious traveller.

Can you tell I’m excited?

- e.e cummings

As a feisty head strong person, it takes something close to a miracle for me to understand a view of another. Everything that you stand for, everything that endears me to you, everything that made this magic possible between us made me want to spend every last minute with you even though, I understand that it would conflict with everything that made you, who you are.

I want to get to know you and not destroy you. For that reason alone, I cannot be selfish. I have to respect your decision, your choice regardless of how fragile it may seem. Life has to run it’s course and we deserve to see what we see.

A-freaking-mazing. Other than that little nugget, Macau is sad. We were leaning on the third level railings of MGM Grand Casino when we are barked at by security. Turns out, people tend to hurl themself off buildings, railings after losing their life’s possessions to gambling. According to the marketing lady we spoke to at The Venetian, there’s a suicide a day. Not uncommon. I couldn’t imagine working here, I reckon I’d go batshit crazy. Imagine living on Sentosa. Well, it’s a ferry away from Hong Kong where tons of shopping, night life etc.  This is what Singapore wants for her island – a casino.

I will no longer look back because, the future is dazzling and I don’t want to miss a thing!