Everyone wants to be happy.

4 04 2013

Not everyone is meant to be a mother. Not everyone is meant to be with someone else. In that light, it’d be easy to see how not everyone is meant to be happy.



16 04 2012

I miss writing. With the stalker episode of 2007 and subsequent heartbreaks (unrelated, thank you very much!), I have simply lost the love. Perhaps I should re-ignite the flame. If nothing else than to please myself.

The girl with the Nabokov.

I am often seated at the corner seat, preferably next to a carriage’s beginning and end, where the joints rattle and curve with every turn. Out of sight from the general bustle of passengers, trundling in for a spot during rush hour, I read. If you watch me, you’ll realise that my deep brown eyes dance with anticipation with every page turn. In a sort of unspoken rhythm, you realise that I relish the moments, the little intervals that allow me to look up and observe the train rushing through each station.

I read because, it helps me escape from the knowledge that in less than an hour, I will have to undertake a personality that isn’t truly me to do, to pay the bills. Before your mind wanders, it isn’t nefarious nor immoral, it is simply not me. I am the girl that reads because, perhaps just once. I want you to sit besides me and steal a peek. Perhaps even muster enough courage to ask me about the book, or even tell me what I do not already know. I read because, I want you to speak to me.


6 10 2011

Perhaps, I view the world through rose-tinted glasses.

Perhaps, I am not as politically as aware as I should be

Perhaps, I want to believe that the world I live in is faultless ergo not in need of any help

Perhaps, all I want right now is to be there.

Of all the times that I’ve been called names – this time it has hurt the most because you matter the most.

the sweet words.

18 01 2011

It matters not,
who you love,
where you love,
why you love,
when you love,
or even how you love,
it matters only that you love.

Warmth where there once was stillness.

26 12 2010

Nothing is so common as the desire to be remarkable” – W. Shakespeare

We (i.e. me) are constantly in pursuit of the next best thing. It is never good enough. In my room, there is a box. The last box containing my belongings – certificates, letters, writing materials and books. For the most part, I tell myself I am too busy to unpack, work has taken a toll for the insane. When I say I am married to my job, everyone nods in unparalleled agreement. No one laughs because if they are in my life, they have at some point been passed up for a work commitment.

When the manic comes to a halt, I wonder what it is all for. Lately, I have allowed myself more. To not be caught up in the madness. To enjoy the stillness.

For the New Year, I want there to be contentment in my life. Who needs to be remarkable when your heart is smiling with bliss?

B for Breathe.

23 08 2010

“Cheer up, buttercup”, he says.

Always owned a penchant for nicknames, I am my mother’s treasure, my accountant’s kiddo, Coach’s freckles, Stanford’s cupcake, SA’s munchkin and now, WD’s buttercup.  Work has throw a punch that I cannot seem to recover from. HK was a whim that had to be ticked off, how often can one say that they made plans the night before to travel the day after.

Hindsight is a powerful tool yet it wouldn’t be fair to play shoulda, woulda, coulda. I wish I could fast forward to the end. At least then, I would know what I’m dancing for. For a crowd, an audience, him or alone.

At least then, I will know.

J for Japan

4 05 2010

The fun part about travelling has to be the details that go into the planning or perhaps, I am just a masochist. I mean, I’m the girl that has an excel sheet for what goes into my luggage which to my defence is for insurance purposes should things go sideways.

Japan is notoriously expensive in terms of food, accommodation so, I scoured hotels.com which has the best interface for booking imo. Found a couple that fit the bill – clean, near a subway station, somewhat central, airport shuttle available etc.

Managed to get P to buckle down and actually look at the choices this weekend. Since, P booked the tickets so I offered to take the responsibility of booking our accommodation. Our travel budget wouldn’t allow us to be temporary residents of um, the Tokyo version of the Waldorf Astoria but, I did not want smoke filled and 80s gaudy floral imbued decor either. A girl has to have some reprieve. It is a vacation.

So, after a tough search we are booked at Mitsui Garden Hotel – Yotsuya which according to the map and my paltry cartography skills shows that we will be on the edge of Shinju-ku. 3mins from Yotsuya JR.

Technology plug – I love my iPhone! In a matter of minutes, I downloaded two apps: Tokyo Underground – which shows the entire route map, allows you to select your destination and gives you the best route and estimated time. All without a 3G or WiFi connection. Awesome! If you did have your location on, they could tell you what’s the closest station next to you.

Tokyo Cool on the other hand is a good supplement to an actual guidebook, gives you titbits of information but reminds me of the LUXE guide and sort of fancy pants, not really in touch with the moderate budget conscious traveller.

Can you tell I’m excited?